Appearances are deceptive. What is apparently a simple and effective message is usually the product of long and careful crafting. This process is impossible without a sound grasp of language from the ground up. So whether it’s a light edit or major surgery involving a complete rethink of an existing document, let us craft you a leaner, cleaner and more concise read that can be understood and acted on after one reading. Of course, we rigorously maintain the original meaning and intent and never change facts or figures.
Below are some recent case studies.
Victorian Department of Premier and Cabinet Annual Report

The brief:
The Department of Premier and Cabinet is Victoria’s leading government department. Its annual report sets out the Government’s achievements for the year and its ambitions for the next one. Andrew Pegler was commissioned to conduct a plain English edit and proofread on approximately 40,000 internally prepared words.
Copy sample:
The role of infrastructure in our economic growth and development
The Resources and Infrastructure Branch helped the Premier reduce transport congestion and speed up public transport improvements and major projects. It also helped develop and implement the Premier’s Congestion Roundtable which brought together industry and community to talk about practical solutions. The result is the Premier’s $112.7 million traffic congestion plan called Keeping Melbourne Moving.
Our Water, Our Future – Securing Our Water’s Future

The brief:
The Victorian Government needed a brochure to explain its $4.9 billion water plan Our Water, Our Future – Securing Our Water’s Future to the general public and media. Andrew Pegler was briefed to take dense, scientific and bureaucratic information and make it simple and concise without losing any detail.
Copy sample:
Desalination plant for Melbourne
Desalination creates new water that does not rely on rainfall. This plan provides for the construction of a major desalination plant to service Melbourne, Geelong and towns in the Western Port and South Gippsland region from late 2011.
The plant will be located in the Wonthaggi region, which is close to Bass Strait’s freely circulating currents that will rapidly disperse any salty outflow. The plant will add up to 150 GL annually to Melbourne’s water system – around one third of Melbourne’s water needs.
www.nab.com.au/Life

The brief:
Andrew Pegler developed all the content from scratch for this personal finance site for the National Australia Bank. Calling on his business journalism background, Andrew wrote content for three different age groups – young adults, adults and retirees – each requiring a different tone, style and content. The site has won numerous awards including:
- Gold (Banking) W3 Awards USA
- Gold (Art Direction) W3 Awards USA
- Finalist New Festival Midas Awards 2007
- Finalist Award 2007
- Finalist London International Finalist Awards
- Finalist New Festival Midas Awards 2007
Copy sample:
Starting a business
The entrepreneur is a curious mix of inspiration and perspiration, a human paradox who brings order to ambiguity, chaos, and uncertainty. A thinker who is also a doer – after all, innovation cannot stop at just a good idea or that’s all it will ever be. A good idea needs a fire under it to get it over the line and into the market place. Not tomorrow, not next week, but today! This is what sets entrepreneurs apart from dreamers.
Blueprint for Education and Early Childhood Development

The brief:
For this project Andrew Pegler was invited sit on the Blueprint project development committee at the Victorian Department of Education and Early Childhood Development and attended its weekly meeting over two months. His role was to ensure the three discussion papers outlining the Government’s proposed strategic directions, possible actions and targets were clear, concise and pitched at their intended audience.
Copy sample:
Our vision for all Victorian children and young people
We can all agree that children deserve the best possible start in life. Regardless of their background or circumstances, every Victorian child and young person deserves the chance to enjoy the sorts of creative and intellectual pursuits that allow them to be the best student they can be. It’s the Government’s responsibility to put in place the structures and standards to help and encourage children and young people to achieve this including additional support for disadvantaged children and families.
A guide to systems thinking

The brief:
The Victorian Department of Primary Industries (DPI) needed a document that explained the principles of systems thinking and how it related to scientific endeavour. It was to be a useful reference for ministers and advisors in their discussions with DPI scientists lobbying to apply systems thinking to DPI science.
Copy sample:
The rise of systems thinking and the limitations of reductionism
Reductionism was originally conceived by Descartes in 1637 and so far it has served us well. Descartes believed that the world is a machine and the best way to understand it is by taking it apart, studying the separate components and then putting them back together to see the larger picture. That is reductionism.
Reductionism has given us many great scientific discoveries and major technological breakthroughs, but it has its limitations. Basically, because reductionism breaks down a problem into its component parts, any knowledge that is uncovered is pursued in relative isolation.
As a response to the complexities of our times, reputed scientists, philosophers and historians of science as well as practitioners in many different disciplines are calling for a new paradigm of inquiry known as ‘systems thinking’.
National Australia Bank Corporate Responsibility Report (CSR) 2008

The brief:
This CSR report needed to provide a complete and credible view of NAB’s operations and impacts. It had to be concise and clear to allow readers to quickly and easily assess NAB’s sustainability performance and the most demanding of analysts draw research from its facts and Information. The report went on to win Best Report and the Shareholder Review won a Silver Award at the Australasian Reporting Awards for among others the clarity of its language.
Copy sample:
When we made the decision to become carbon neutral we knew it wouldn’t be easy. However, we also knew it was a very important step in the journey to better understanding how to reduce our carbon footprint. This ‘learning by doing’ approach also built our in-house expertise and credibility and helped employees, customers and our community partners respond to the escalating challenges climate change presents.
